Is The House Cursed

Hello…I’m really sorry, I feel entirely silly asking this, and I’m not sure it’s the right place at all. I always follow my intuition, always, but there aren’t many chances to do so. My grandmother has been very ill all of my life, I’m sixteen years old. She has COPD and a bunch of other things wrong with her chest. She has been in and out of hospital many times and had many near death experiences due to this. Basically. She was in hospital last week, and she was getting better! I didn’t think anything of it. I talked to my grandad (her husband) about the house they moved out of that we all used to live in, and he told me that when she does eventually die I will I will inherit that house. Of course I don’t care about these things. I love my gran. Just after we had that conversation, it made me feel uneasy, and then we got a call and she suddenly caught an infection and got really bad again. I felt partly guilty. Then later in in the week he gave me a key for that house, so I can have a look around. I went there, and stayed for a couple of hours

I just felt so uneasy being there, and kept thinking of my gran (who was at this stage getting better) a few hours later I got a phone call saying to get to the hospital as soon as I can because my gran was likely going to die. I felt like I should have seen it and that it was my fault. Tonight I was supposed to go back but when I got nearer I just felt really sick and nervous and like I couldn’t go in the gate because my gran was going to deteriorate again or something…

Is there anyway that the house could be cursed since it used to be her house?? I’m so sorry if this is somehow offensive or irrelevant or stupid or something I really do apologize, I just can’t understand it and I need to go to the house at some point but I could never live with the guilt if anything happened. I’m so interested in paganism and wicca and I hope to really embrace everything about the religion one day, but I have no idea how:P but yeah sorry again and thank you in advance!

One thing that I think is very important to note from the beginning, particularly with the elderly, but often with any sort of serious/life threatening illnesses – it is extremely common for someone to appear to be doing much better (in some cases, almost miracle-like) right before they end up passing away. So the fact that your grandmother was seemingly on the mend, but then took a turn for the worse, does not necessarily have anything to do with you or any potential curse (or other magical goings on). In truth, it’s more than likely just the unfortunate nature of how these sorts of things tend to go.

As to curses/negative energy… if the house has been in the family for years and years, there will be plenty of energy – good and bad attached to it. Could there be some sort of curse? Eh…maybe, but in this case, I really don’t think that is the issue. I think that you are worried about your grandmother and you feel a little guilty about benefiting from her eventual death (which is a perfectly normal thing to be feeling). The fact that those emotions seem to manifest more strongly when you are at the house or near it is pretty normal too, given that you will be focused on her when you are at a place that you associate with her.

In the future (hopefully far, far in the future), if you do end up inheriting the house, you can always do a ritual cleansing to help clear out any potential negative energies that may be lingering. For now, I don’t think that you going to the house is causing your grandmother any harm, but if going there is causing you anxiety, then it may be best to avoid it until things have settled down.

Wedding Location: Does It Matter?

I live in a rural town and was married at my property. Would it be advised to get remarried (to a different woman) at the same location? My first marriage was tumultuous and failed. I have met my soulmate and am divided between starting fresh with my soulmate at the place we will call home and the fact that I was already married at the same location. Please advise.

Honestly, this could really go either way…

On the one hand, you are looking at having to compete with memories of your previous marriage. Which, to be sure, you’ll have to deal with anyways – but when you literally start off in exactly the same place, there are bound to be those who automatically assume it will end up going the same route the first one did. Additionally, if there are any residual hard feelings related to your previous marriage, going through the ceremony in the same place can cause those feelings to bubble to the surface during the wedding and could cause your day to be less than perfect.

Conversely, making awesome new memories literally right on top of the old ones, can help to fully chase out any lingering “ghosts of the past” that might be hanging around. Having your and your new wife, stake your claim – this is ours now – can really help to set the tone for your new life together.  So, especially if you are going to be living in the same house that you previously lived in during your first marriage, this might not be a totally bad idea.

Personally though, I wouldn’t do it, as it seems like there would be too much “baggage” associated with it. From a more objective perspective however, it could potentially work out. A lot too depends on what sort of other options you have available. If it’s a budget issue, then just doing your best to make this wedding as different as possible from the other one, even if it’s being held in the same place, may be enough. Suggest as well (if you are into that sort of thing), that doing some heavy-duty cleansing rituals beforehand might also be a good idea. Just to banish any lingering negative energies that might hanging around, that way you can start fresh.

I think the really big question to ask however, would be to your wife-to-be… how does she feel about it? This is her day too, and if she doesn’t feel comfortable having the wedding in the same place, then that needs to be a serious consideration when making your choice.

Jealousy and Unconsiously Cursing

I have a long time best friend I love like a sister. We met in High School and I quickly learned that her life had been extremely difficult. Her family was cruel, unsupportive & financially unstable. She took medication that caused a lot of weight gain which crushed her self-esteem. While she is otherwise fiercely loyal, supportive, and caring, she is very bitter about how different our lives were. My family life as a high school student was the complete opposite of hers. She didn’t know I had an eating disorder and resented me most for being thin.

She would act very petty, bitter, and jealous towards me on a daily basis.

I stopped tolerating it when she began copying my appearance, speech, and eventually my artwork. When I confronted her she refused to back down. We didn’t speak for a REALLY long time. When we did finally become friends again she had long since quit her medications and lost the weight. She seemed really happy, like she grew into herself. I assumed she wouldn’t feel the need to act the way she used to and wrote it off as being part of the past.

after that I moved to a different country and when I came home to the US she visited me. I had gained weight as a result of fracturing my tailbone which was healing very slowly and the muscle pain that came with it. I decided to tell her about the eating disorder and asked her not to talk about things that related to that subject. Instead she made sure to bring it up in not so subtle ways as much as possible. I know she did it because she is insecure and bitter, but it troubles me that she was so happy to see me unhappy with myself.

since then I still struggle with my weight constantly despite playing roller derby, becoming a clean eating vegan to help my body and mind, regularly going to the gym, and doing everything I can to stop my negative thoughts and correct them. I keep a record of my food/exercise habits and my doctor looked over it and said everything looked on point.

I am not suggesting she has made it impossible for me to lose weight! I just wonder if it is possible for someone to unintentionally ‘curse’ you by resenting you out of envy and bitterness, especially if that person has resented you for such a long time? and as a result hinder your own progress. because she is VERY bitter. . . and she seems to need me to be less successful in my endeavors to be happy with her own self, at this point in her life.

I decided not to be passive anymore and to give my two cents on any snide comments, but also that I will be understanding and patient because she is still struggling with her own insecurities.

What can I do to protect myself from jealousy?

It may seem harsh, but if this person’s behaviors are bothering you, to the point that you feel their jealousy and bitterness are potentially unconsciously cursing you – then you need to permanently sever your ties to them. That is the best way to protect yourself from this sort of deep-seated hatred. And make no mistake, it is hate. No one who is a true friend, would harbor these sorts of feelings, or act in this manner – particularly over such a long period of time. To put it bluntly, a “friend” who gets their kicks from seeing their friends fail, isn’t a friend.

Within healthy relationships, we may all have occasional moments when we are jealous, or feel a bit of bitterness here and there, particularly when we may be struggling and they seem to get all the good stuff, but it is typically fleeting. A momentary dark cloud that moves across the sky and is then gone, to be replaced by happiness and genuine supportive feelings that our friend is awesome and deserves all the good things. Because hey… if we’re not making it, then someone better be!!! Lingering negative feelings speak to a relationship that is not a healthy one, and unless the underlying issues can be resolved, it’s often better to part ways, rather than allowing such negativity to continue festering.

As to unconsciously cursing or even casting spells in general – I think that any time we put a lot of energy into something, especially energy that is emotionally charged, we have the potential to affect things. At it’s most basic, magic is simply manifesting a desired change through force of will, and as such, when one is intensely focusing specific negative thoughts (particularly over a long period of time), the odds are pretty good that there will be some sort of manifestation related to those thoughts.

Having said that however, I don’t necessarily think that your friend has caused you to have difficulties losing weight. While it’s sometimes easier to look for magical reasons behind something, the answer is generally much simpler. In this case, it’s likely just a matter of genetics or basic human biology. Once we reach a certain age our metabolism slows down, and it becomes much harder to lose any extra weight that we might put on. Couple that with an injury that makes exercising hit or miss and it’s the perfect recipe for weight that doesn’t want to budge.

Though it may be difficult, especially with someone that you consider almost like family, in the end, there often comes a time when we have to chose our own well-being over our “friends.” If we are to lead happy and healthy lives, we have to be mindful of our own mental, emotional and physical needs, and sometimes that means cutting the negative people from our lives. Even even more so, those whose sole purpose in life seems to be sabotaging the happiness of those around them.


Do Spells Work?

I have a question about spells, 1 do they work,  and do you think this one will work (one I came up with)

As I sit here in this hour,
And I raise up all my power,
I ask the God and goddess to send,
Money to me on the wind,
I charm this necklace on this night,
And wear it when money is tight,
Now I say this to you from me,
Now I say it so mote it be.

Yes. No. Maybe so.

Spellwork is very unpredictable. Can it work? … sure. Does it always work, every single time? … nope. Is there any way to guarantee that it will work in any particular instance? … again, nope.

At its most basic, magic is simply manifesting a desired goal or change through force of will. This is something that most people do, without realizing it, on a daily basis. We formulate a goal and we make it happen. In terms of spellwork, it’s simply a matter of doing it in a slightly different way.

Like anything else in life, there are many variables that impact whether or not a spell manifests the way that we want it to. A few points to consider:

  • First and foremost, magic cannot defy the laws of nature/physics. So things like sprouting wings, or transforming into some other being, are not something that are possible through spells.
  • Focus and clarity when working the spell – left unguided, magic will work in its own way and in its own time. So a vague, “money to me on the wind” could mean that you find a lost $5 bill in your pocket, rather than an actual sum of money that helps your financial situation improve. So be clear and concise when forming the intent of the spell, especially if you need specific help with something.
  •  Magic is not like what we see on TV or in the movies – there is no snap your fingers and POOF. Manifesting a spell takes work, and in general, doing something mundanely is infinitely easier than doing it magically. So if you are expecting to recite a few words and suddenly have money rain down on your head – while it’s not completely impossible, it would be very unlikely unless you first play the lotto, or (even better) take some other concrete steps towards improving your financial situation, such as applying for loan/grant, looking for a job, or some other sort of fundraising.

As a charm, your words are fine, especially if you are just looking to attract money in general. The key is raising the energy necessary to fuel the spell, charging the necklace with that energy, and then recharging it as necessary. However, if you have a specific need or need a particular amount of money before a certain deadline, then you need to be clear about that to avoid any potential misunderstandings. Additionally, the Gods aren’t ATM machines, so often if we want something from them, we have to give something first. Along that same line – if you don’t already work with a particular God or Goddess, you may want to look into at least introducing yourself (and/or forming a working relationship with them) first, before asking them for favors.

So it definitely has the potential to work, but as mentioned previously, nothing is ever guaranteed. But the way I see it, can’t ever hurt to try. 😉

Previous posts on spells and magic that might be helpful…




Wiccan Exorcism

I am pretty new to Wicca, and I believe there is a negative entity or demon in my house. I’ve looked up exorcisms and found one I’d like to use but I have a few questions I’m hoping you can answer for me. Here is a link to website I got it from.

I have used rituals on this website before and found they worked well, but I’d like to get someone more experienced opinion before I do anything.

  1. Is it safe? And if not exactly how dangerous could it be?
  2. My mother, whom I live with is not Wiccan and does not believe in the craft, or in ghosts or demons. Although she has heard and seen many of the things I have she always comes with something else it could be. Could her disbelief be a problem?
  3. The incantation is in Latin and although I do speak Latin I am not fluent, if I mispronounced something would it mess up the whole exorcism?

If you are an initiated Wiccan, I would suggest speaking to you HP/HPS about potential ways to deal with a malevolent entity. They would be best equipped to instruct someone who is new, and will also know what sort of things to suggest based on their assessment of your current skill level. Outside of Traditional Wicca however, for those that are on a Wicca inspired NeoPagan path, or solitary Witch – I’d be kind of wary of anything that calls itself a Wiccan “exorcism”.

Most Witchcraft traditions work with banishing rituals when they need to rid themselves (or others) of unwanted energies/entities. The term “exorcism” has heavily Christian overtones, and not that it can’t necessarily work – even for a non-Christian, odds are that the wording of the actual “spell”  is going to be geared more towards a Christian mindset than a Pagan one.

So using Google Translate (which obviously isn’t perfect, but will give us a general idea of the text in English)…

Kingdoms of the Earth, Sing unto God, sing ye praises with Cernunnos,
Kingdoms of the Earth, Goddess, sing praises sung of Arad.
God of heaven, earth,
I humbly beg your Majesty
In order that the power from all of the infernal spirits,
The trap, and deception, malice;
Of all deceit, deliver us, O Ruler.
Exorcise you, every unclean spirit
Let every satanic power, every incursion,
That infernal adversary, every legion,
And the gathering together of all sects.
From the snares of the devil, deliver us, O sovereign Lord,
As Lisle serve your safe to do
We beseech thee to hear us!
Thou wouldst vouchsafe to humble the enemies of holy of the circle,
We beseech thee to hear us!
The God in his sanctuary,
Cernunnos Himself will have thrust the power of His Own people,
Arad his strength to his people.
Blessed be God, the Father,
Blessed Goddess Mother of the glory!

In this case, the wording is not even remotely appropriate, and it’s pretty clear that someone simply took the original Latin wording of a Christian ritual and added in a few references to a Pagan God, and Goddess. Which if they’d left both of them completely generic, it might not have been so bad, but to name Cernunnos specifically, particularly with the attributes of YHWH still in place, is somewhat laughable at best, and utterly cringe-worthy and insulting (to both YHWH and Cernnunos) at worst. In terms of the Goddess, I’m guessing that Arad is supposed to be an abbreviation of Aradia, but still, unless you are on really good terms with that particular Goddess, I’d want to make sure to use her full name, otherwise it could be seen as a sign of disrespect. Worse, you could end up invoking a completely different Goddess.  I’d advise anyone that was even considering to use it, to leave out any specific God/Goddess names unless you were absolutely sure that the attributes/praises listed were actually apt descriptions of said God/Goddess.

Other issues…

  • With the wording itself – the Devil is a Christian concept. Not that others can’t/don’t necessarily acknowledge his existence, but it’s usually not quite the same as how a Christian would view it. Particularly within a NeoPagan framework, there is the acknowledgement that not everything is love and light or healing and growing, and that in order to maintain that elusive “balance” everyone is so keen on, there is a certain amount of dark and chaos, and destruction that is necessary as well.
  • This whole paragraph here: This method is a good one for two reasons. First, it uses a force so pure that when the demon leaves the body of the victim, it will already be so immersed in this energy that it will be annihilated. Secondly, you do not need to adapt the incantation according to the identity or strength of the evil spirit, since the power of the gods still exceed the power of the demon.”  What force is it using? In a Christian context this would make more sense, given how YHWH is generally described, but in terms of other Pagan Gods not so much. There is an assumption there as well, that all Gods are more powerful than all “demons” (and that word in particular is problematic at best, since things that we often might call “demons” really aren’t, nor are they all inherently evil), which may or may not be true (it’s said to be true in the case of YHWH though, which is what the words are in reference to).
  • Speaking in Latin (or any foreign language one is not fluent in) – first and foremost, if you are going to do any sort of spellwork in another language, it is ALWAYS (can’t stress it enough) advisable to get the text translated first by someone that is reputable/knowledgeable in both languages (not only the text language, but one’s native language as well) so that there is absolutely no chance of any miscommunication, or mis-speaking. Having to go back later and be all… “but that’s not what I meant!!” doesn’t generally go over very well. It’s definitely not a good idea to just take text from a book, or the internet and assume that it means what the author/site publisher says it does.
  • Even once you are sure that the text says exactly what you want it to say, the other issue is actually speaking the words. Again, if you are not fluent, it’s better to just say no, rather than risk mispronouncing something, which could change the meaning of your ritual exponentially, and screw the whole thing up (or make it a lot worse). I generally do not suggest using foreign phrasing unless you are absolutely 100% sure that you are saying it correctly. It’s just too risky.

In terms of “safety”, it’s really hard to say. Really will depend on if it’s an actual entity, or just some lingering icky energy? If it’s just energy, then a decent cleansing ritual should suffice (or several of them if it’s really stubborn) and shouldn’t be any more dangerous than any other normal activity that you might do.

If it’s an actual entity of some kind – is it actually malevolent, or just there and you don’t want it to be? Often entities will work more on a you don’t bother us, we won’t bother you kind of a scale, so if you find yourself poking at it, or engaging it in any way, it may just be a matter of ignoring it and it will go on it’s way once you stop. A lot of times as well, there is a tendency for people to assume that all entities are evil or malicious, when in fact, most are apathetic at best towards humans, and even if they are hanging around a house, they aren’t really any sort of threat. In those cases, sometimes simply asking (firmly, but politely) “please leave” can do wonders. For those that are truly malicious, any sort of banishing spell/ritual could be pretty intense, but not like actual “The Exorcist” (the movie) intense. If you are not comfortable with such things though, then you might want to contact someone who is, just to have the extra support.

As to your mother’s belief/disbelief… as the ritual/spell isn’t directed at her, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, if she is going around actively countering your work, either by shooting it down verbally (saying things like… that will never work), or in some other way making you doubt yourself, or your ability to banish the entity – that could affect the outcome. It would be more beneficial to have her working with you, or at the very least not working against you. Other issues that come into play here as well, are if she doesn’t want you doing witchcraft in the house. If that is the case, you should look to other methods of banishing that aren’t overtly witchcraft, as one should always try to respect the rules their parents have set while still living at home.

So… other options. I’m a big fan of actual “cleansing” when doing banishing/cleansing type rituals. If there is a particular place in the house where this entity or energy seems to be concentrated, start there, giving the area a deep cleaning. Open windows, and doors, sweep, dust, vacuum, etc…Make it all sparkle, and sweep the negative energy right out the door/window.

Once you’ve done the manual labor, then you can look to the more spiritual side of it. Burning a protective/purifying/cleansing flavor of incense is a good way to encourage an unwanted entity to leave, or to help whisk away negative energy. Bells and chimes have been used for such as well.

Outside of that, if you want to do a full-on ritual, now would be the time, though I would really suggest writing one yourself, rather than using the Latin one above (there are just way too many things wrong with it). Personally, I would suggest visualizing the cleansing via the Elements (air to push out the entity/energy, fire to burn away any residual negativity, water to purify, and earth to build strong, protected foundation).

You can open by calling on whichever God(s) you personally work with, but I would avoid calling on random deities that you don’t have any particular association with. Working with unfamiliar deities is sometimes a bit hit or miss – they might help, but they might not, so it’s usually better to just raise your own energy, unless you have something really good to offer in return for their assistance. Then simply state your intention to banish the entity/energy, and do the visualizations (mentioned above) to emphasize that intention. When you’re done you can close out your ritual, be sure to give your offerings and/or show your appreciation for any deities that you called on (if you choose to do so).

As mentioned earlier, sometimes it may take more than one cleansing. So if you do it once, and there is still a bit of lingering ick, give it a bit of time and do it again.

Magic: Energy and Cursing/Hexing

Hello there!
I was curious about something I have heard of in pop culture as well as many ancient stories from around the globe, the usage of curses or “dark magic.” I have heard from many pagans that dark magic doesn’t exist and from others that it does exist but it is a double edged sword. the ones who say it exists say that if you tried to curse or hex someone you would also curse/hex yourself because the energy gathered to preform the curse/hex would first flow through yourself. The others say that it is impossible to use magic in that way. What are your thoughts?

It never fails… spend enough time browsing around any sort of Witchcraft related book, site, forum, etc…  and eventually you will come across comments that describe magic in terms of color. While there are a variety of shades that might come to mind, the most commonly seen tend to relate to “black” and “white” magic – which of course (more often than not), leads one into the “dark” vs. “light” conversations as well.

While labels are sometimes useful – in that they can help us to understand an idea or concept at a glance; the converse is, that one word rarely conveys everything, which then leads to misinformation or misunderstanding.  In this case, the truth is that assigning color to magic, shows a fundamental lack of understanding of exactly how magic works.

It probably shouldn’t be surprising that this happens, so many books out there are trying desperately to cater to the “rainbows and ponies” world vision when it comes to the Craft. So long as it’s presented with glitter and sparkles, then how could it possibly be wrong, or hurtful? After all, white/light is good, and black/dark is bad – right?  Ehh… not so much, as both are genuinely necessary “forces” in the universe.

At its most basic, magic is simply manifesting a desired goal, or affecting a desired change through force of will. The fundamental lack of understanding that I mentioned above comes in, right about here – magic has almost entirely to do with the intent of the person casting it. This means that a spell which might typically be considered “white”, can absolutely be used to cause harm, while one that could be considered “black” can be used to heal.  A good example of this is magic that can be used when working with someone who has cancer, in which banishment spells (considered “black magic” by many) are often used.

The point in all of this, is that magic is colorless, and if one is going to do magic (be it witchcraft, or any other form that one might choose), then it’s something that we all need to accept. Magic is what it is, and the only thing that really matters at the end of the day, is how we use it. And while there may be many people who will never cast a hex or curse in their life (or even consider the thought), the fact is that there may be times when one is justified, and in most cases there is nothing that prevents anyone from doing so, if they should choose to.

As to energetic issues resulting from cursing/hexing, there is always the potential for backlash (of a sort) if one doesn’t ground properly, but that is true of any magical working. In the same way that magic is colorless, when you are raising energy, it’s just “energy” – it hasn’t been shaped or focused to any particular purpose. When you do purpose it, it’s being directed into (or at) something/someone else, so even though the energy comes from you, or as a result of your actions, you are only the channel for that particular component, not the actual mixing bowl (so to speak). Sort of like baking – you gather up your ingredients, and mix them all in a separate container. So even if the milk comes from a jug, the jug doesn’t get dirty because you’ve poured just the milk you need into the bowl, and then sealed the jug back up to use next time.

Only real instance where such a thing could be plausible, would be if you ask deity/spirit/entities, etc… to work through you, or to use your body as a conduit of a sort – which potentially could leave “residue”. But it’s still more of a grounding/shielding issue, which typically isn’t lasting (unless you somehow manage to screw something up big time). Guess too though, it would depend to what degree (if any) someone holds to the Three-Fold Law, or similar concept. I could see where someone could find themselves regretting a curse/hex, and it probably causing them to feel like they were cursed instead (by the guilt).

Along with that though, if one does hold strongly to a concept like the TFL, (or something like the Eclectic interpretation of “an it harm none“) there could potentially be actual backlash if one verbally incorporates it as an oath in a working. If you always invoke some such as a part of your ritual language, for example, it will become a part of your magical practice that actually has impact. You would then have given this idea power to affect you through your own words and actions.

So… long story short, it really depends on the person, the Tradition/Path involved, and any number of other factors. It’s just not one of those things that is going to be the same for everyone, which is really somewhat typical of many things related to Witchcraft, and even Paganism in general.